‘I had bad suicidal thoughts’: Malin Andersson details her heartbreaking struggle with both pre and postnatal depression which led to split from her daughter’s dad
The former Love Island star, 30, bravely revealed that she suffered from ‘bad suicidal thoughts’ at her darkest, which eventually led to the breakdown of her relationship with her daughter’s dad, Jared.
She admitted that her second pregnancy with Xaya was ‘bitter sweet’ as she battled with PTSD and depression after the tragic death of her daughter Consy in 2019.
Throwback: Malin Andersson, 30, has detailed her heartbreaking struggle with both pre and postnatal depression in a candid update on Tuesday.
Malin shared a montage of photos from her pregnancy and penned a lengthy message to her Instagram.
She began: ‘Hey everyone… I want to talk about a period of my life I haven’t delved into too much.. I stayed quiet and had a lot of help from family and my closest & I hid a lot on social media.
‘Jared was an absolute saving grace and it’s one of the main reasons we broke up because it got too much for both of us and I needed to heal and get better mentally.’
Brave: The Love Island star revealed that she suffered from ‘bad suicidal thoughts’ at her darkest, which eventually to the breakdown of her relationship with her daughters dad, Jared
Malin continued: ‘My pregnancy with Xaya was bitter sweet but I didn’t realise that something I thought would make me so happy… made me crumble and fall apart.
‘The 9 months of my pregnancy was awful for me mentally.. I suffered severe PTSD from losing baby Consy, and very bad pre-natal depression.. which then led onto post-natal.
‘Everyday I woke up with a racing heart and anxiety that something would go wrong. Trauma from my past came to the surface with a deep deep depression.’
She admitted that her second pregnancy with Xaya was ‘bitter sweet’ as she battled with PTSD and depression after the tragic death of her daughter Consy in 2019
She added: ‘Things I thought were resolved but I masked with alcohol and ‘fun’ and constant travel before I had her. Things that needed to be dealt with but I never did.
‘A big thing that came to the surface was sexual abuse I endured 6 years ago… something I kept within me before my book came out.
‘I had counselling and therapy but nothing worked so I was given Prozac whilst I was pregnant, it seemed to ease some of my pain but I had such bad suicidal thoughts I didn’t want to live. I would write letters to Jared that I didn’t want to be here anymore.’
She said: ‘The 9 months of my pregnancy was awful for me mentally.. I suffered severe PTSD from losing baby Consy, and very bad pre-natal depression.. which then led onto post-natal’
‘I’m urging anyone that’s suffering slowly in their head to seek help. It’s a strange thing because everyone looks at me as a strong resilient woman – and I am sometimes.
‘But last year I wasn’t.. we think we overcome grief and pain and psychological abuse but it can slowly creep out at us. Trauma stays in our bodies.. until we learn how to fix ourselves. Slowly. But surely.
‘I’m a lot better now, I still have my days where I want to disappear and be alone – but I know my triggers and I know what to do.
Family: Malin welcomed a daughter Xaya (pictured) in January with her ex-boyfriend Jared but said she ‘would write letters to Jared that I didn’t want to be here anymore’
Life isn’t easy.. but we only have one. That’s all that matters. Pre-natal depression is a scary and lonely place to be.. especially when everyone thinks you should be happy.
‘You’re doing just fine remember that.. and also remember you’re not alone.’
Malin’s daughter Xaya was born via emergency c-section in January 2021 with surgeons using the same scar from when she gave birth to her late daughter Consy.
In 2019 Consy died at just four weeks old after being born seven weeks premature.
Heartfelt: In 2019 Consy died at just four weeks old after being born seven weeks premature (pictured baby Consy)